Immutable Tears




Dear Fabián,

I just finished watching Boca lose a soccer match on their pitch against Unión by 3-4, which gives the top spot back to San Lorenzo. In spite of being a man down - Orión sent off in the first half for coming off his line heels first like crazy (again) - the Bosteros played to win the entire game, tying it twice, even with a goal by Tévez at 46 minutes for 2-2. What I´m saying is that they never stopped attacking. I take my hat off to them; I like that they never back down. They are an example to follow.

The Apache scores
The Apache scores
Of course, as a Cuervo I'm glad about the defeat of our child [tr. note: San Lorenzo refers to itself as Boca's father], but we're not always going to have that kind of luck, because they have a very good team now. I don't think that they'll lose many more matches in this long tournament. Perhaps the one on September 6 and no others. Tonight San Lorenzo won a tough game against Gimnasia. The goal was from Cauteruccio - who has restored completely the potential striker he was before his serious injury - on a nice run. To win this championship we have to continue defending the best way possible (and we do it well, letting in less goals than most of the First [Division] teams) but we have to attack more consistently. Torrico, who was great again, and Mercier and the other good defenders we have, will not always bail out the team. We are at the top with 40 points. We have to stay there, but be always looking for more. Boca is moving up and at any moment the Apache [tr. note: Carlos Tévez, playing for Boca] will burst out with a run of goals. And, of course, River is also there. As I see it, CASLA has to improve their game in the rival's area, go for a more offensive soccer and have more players in front if they want to battle until November.

Caute gave Ciclón their victory
Caute gave Ciclón t...
I'm in Dublin. We were eating at a bar and grill type place where the cook is a Bostero named Juan. He was wearing his team shirt. We spoke for a while. Good guy. He was annoyed because he couldn't be at home watching the match against Unión, but I told him not to worry, that their "father" [tr. note: see note above] will always monitor and keep them company everywhere in this tournament. He, of course, made fun of me as best as he could. We laughed and wished each other luck. What are you thinking now, after losing against Tatengue? Well, there's a lot still to come. My wish, as I said in a previous column, is that our September match in the Bombonera will be for the top of the championship. It could be, it could be. And seeing how the Copa Argentina finals stand, there could be a final between San Lorenzo and Boca Juniors. I'd love that.

A couple of days ago we were in Enneskillen, in the county of Fermanagh in the North of Ireland, where there is an annual festival of the works of Samuel Beckett. He studied here. We saw the famous theatre troupe, the Berliner Ensemble, in a German version of Waiting for Godot, and we also went to a special reading of the poem that we commented on in our last chat, "The Waste Land" by T.S. Eliot, with two actors from Ireland and two from England sharing the text, accompanied by an orchestra and a video projected on a screen to one side of the stage. The poem sounded very good like that, impressive. I'm a little frightened to think that in September I have to do it alone in London, without an orchestra. But fear is good sometimes, right? It puts you on alert, and strengthens you. How strange that I should see that performance just after our conversation about Eliot and that poem! The German version of the Beckett work was very good as well. We were very fortunate to be able to see these performances just as we were passing through that region.

The brilliant actors of the Berliner Ensemble
The brilliant actors...
We are in that part of the world - above all on the beautiful western coast of Ireland - to see the locations linked to a play in which Ariadna is going to take part. Connemara, Galway, Donegal. There were lovely crows everywhere, keeping an eye on all the roads:

Very green mountains with a wild climate. A lot of wind, rain, amazing skies, landscapes that take me back mentally to beautiful places I knew in Iceland, New Zealand and the Argentine south.

We were able to fish one day and were lucky. A lovely salmon, three trout and a dozen mackerel, all returned to the rivers and the sea. Well, we ate a couple of the mackerel. They fried them for us with potatoes in the bar of a hotel and we had them with a little Guinness. A simple and very delicious lunch.

Wenger´s Arsenal finally put an end to their bad run against Mourinho's Chelsea in the English Super Cup, The Community Shield. Mourinho threw his runner-up medal into the stands. Wenger, who had to put up with childish insults for a week (and years of childish insults) on the part of the Portuguese ballbuster didn't greet his counterpart. The fact that the great narcissist from Setúbal doesn't know how to lose is not news. I hope that Chelsea gets to play Porto, Iker Casillas' new team (and the one that Mourinho made champions once) in the Champions [League] tournament. That would indeed be dramatic, in view of the shit the Selfish One keeps throwing at the great Spanish goalkeeper.

Defensive postures
Defensive postures
CASLA continues advancing in the Copa Argentina tournament. It withstood the wind and the assaults from Instituto in order to come back in a tough match with a goal by Más and another - the 2-1 one - by the intractable Martín Cautegol, the result of a nice attack play. The team attacked Gloria [tr. note: Gloria is one of Instituto's nicknames] mercilessly, pulling out all the stops like a champion. Now let's see if San Lorenzo is warming up its engines.

The scoring spell continues
The scoring spell co...
P.S. River Plate is Champion of the Americas. The Bosteros will be mad with rage after having lost the opportunity to eliminate their historic rival in the Bombonera [tr. note: Boca's stadium] during this tournament. They were not able to play and to try to win that match thanks to the worst assholes among their supporters and, in general, thanks to the climate of chaos and violence reigning in the Xeneize [tr. note: a nickname for Boca] club. Mexico's Los Tigres also had the opportunity to eliminate Boca in the first round of the tournament, but they let them live and look how they paid for this oversight in the Final. The truth is that River played very well in the Monumental [tr. note: River's stadium] and their supporters were great. Goals galore and good attack soccer. Great night in Nuñez [tr. note: River's neighbourhood]. Congratulations to the Gallinas [tr. note: River´s supporters] and the Muñeco [tr. note: Marcelo Gallardo, River´s coach].

For the players on the Mexican team who lost the Final of the 2015 Copa Libertadores, for the Cuervos, Bosteros and others who didn't get to that Final, for Mourinho and Wenger, for Pipi Romagnoli who has to undergo surgery again, for those who are hungry, for all the creatures who have been despised, ignored, raped, tortured, abandoned, forgotten and who suffer and die alone, I leave this quote from Becket´s play Waiting for Godot:

"The tears of the world are a constant quantity. For each one who begins to weep, somewhere else another stops."


How I´d like to go with you to London to read "The Waste Land," Cuervo. Here I am in Buenos Aires under a glass dome formed by an intense accumulation of clouds that cause trouble with rainy days that have already flooded the Buenos Aires metropolitan area and left thousands of families in the street, in spite of politicians saying they did everything just right. I'm teaching a lot of courses on writing, and jumping here and there, hammer in hand, to finish some domestic things that have me slightly sick; I´ll spare you the details. On Saturday I was in the New Gasómetro watching the match. San Lorenzo played well. It's a tough team that holds fast but, as you say, lacks that extra bit of offensive madness that we previously had with Piatti and Correa and that we are now going to miss since Pipi has problems with his knee again and will have to undergo surgery. Well, I guess it will be a new resurrection of our "ten." What things will we win when he comes back? On the other hand, I also shouted Unión´s goals. Boca, as you say, tried and tried, but the defence was a quagmire. CASLA is much better defensively, and Boca is better offensively.

Between the two, they would make the perfect team. We are going to play against the Bosteros without Tévez because there's a FIFA date [tr. note: meaning that he´ll play with the National Team]. Boca wanted to change the date because of that, but AFA didn't let them. I wanted to play against Tévez. I would like to beat Boca with Tévez, and if it were possible also with Riquelme. Soon a new book of mine, that I wrote in the past four years, will be out; it's a novel made out of about 30 short stories in which you can´t understand a thing. I´m sending you a photograph of a copy and I will send you one later. Cuervo hug.


A long, and at the end, very sad day. The moment of telling my father he no longer can drive has arrived. Due to health problems and his confusion, it's too dangerous. He looked at me like a child who understands but doesn't understand, with a look that shattered me. I put myself in his place and I understand that it doesn't make sense, that it's not acceptable, that to lose that freedom is almost like death. Not to be able to go out to explore the day and the road one chooses is terrible. The horizon diminishes, the doors close, and night falls. A whole self-sufficient life seems to break into pieces. I'm here to help, but, as much as I try to smooth the transition, I feel like a ruthless executioner. I came here because my old man was admitted to hospital again. He came out after three days and, although he knows that the doctors and police don't want him to drive anymore, he asked again for his car keys. I remember so many car trips with him, the beautiful places he showed me, driving free, crossing through infinite landscapes like a god of the road.

P.S. I absolutely agree with you about the match against Boca. Let them bring everything they have. In addition to Tévez and Riquelme, also let the most dangerous versions of Maradona, Caniggia, Brindisi, Clemente Rojas, "Pato" Abbondanzieri, Palermo, Marzolini,Vicente Pernía, "Loco" Gatti, "Rata" Rattín, Pancho Varallo, "Piraña" Sarlanga, Schelotto,Battaglia, and, of course, Macri and Grondona play, so our dear son [tr. note: the Boca team] won't lack any advantage.


What you're saying is sad, brother. Something similar is happening to me with my old man. Although he never drove, it's time now to make some changes. Last summer, for example, he got lost at Carnival. He was following the Boedo Comets and he returned home two days later. I'd been looking for him in hospitals and police stations. But he returned home as if nothing had happened, took a shower and went to sleep. He has moments of great lucidity and others in which he is a drone, that is, an unmanned aircraft. Truthfully, I don't know what to do about these things. Now Guada is asking me from the kitchen if I'm not going to help her. She's with Anita who is in a temperamental state and with Julián crying for his food. Anyway, friend, look up on Google a band that has a beautiful name and really great music. It's called Mi amigo invencible [My Invincible Friend]. I think, as happened to me with Becket who I read because I liked his face and thought that with that face he couldn't write badly, I first liked this band because of its name, "My Invincible Friend." Now they've put out a CD that's called "La danza de los principiantes" [The Beginner's Dance.] Isn't that great? The real secret of everything is to be an eternal beginner.

Mi Amigo Invencible
Mi Amigo Invencible

Being my Cuervo brother, Fabián, you are my invincible friend!

The story of the epic escape of your dad during the Boedo Carnival is terrible. My old man plans his escapes too and disappears now and then. Right now I think that he's putting together an important escape in order to get rid of all us who are ballbusters in his life, those who want to protect and help, but that, to him, only deprive him of his freedom of movement. Having to be his guardian makes me sad and causes a lot of inner conflict.

In general, I think that people should be free to do practically everything they want. Without hurting others, of course. It's complicated finding a fair balance between protecting and allowing freedom for loved ones that are in the process of mental and/or physical decline. The Anglo-American philosopher Thomas Paine said that "we only protect our freedom by protecting that of others." It's a phrase that could be badly interpreted, as many kings, presidents and governments have done to justify oppression, wars, invasions, totalitarianism and all kinds of imperialism. But ultimately, it seems to me Paine's plan is a great one. I am trying to give my father all the freedom of thought and actions possible and the dignity that any free man deserves, but it's complicated; I have to begin from zero all the time. You have to earn freedom - or reconquer it - every day to be a free man, as Goethe wrote. To be a truly autonomous person, to be conscious of what is happening to oneself, it's necessary to seriously ask yourself every day, while you can, even if it's only a minute, "What is it that I want, what do I want to do, how do I want to live?"

Thomas Paine
Thomas Paine
Last edited: 24 October 2015 12:59:16